Do you ever have those moments where you catch yourself doing something that you can’t stand? I do. I did yesterday. I was running after work and this beautiful young woman passed us and I found myself wishing more than anything that I had her body, which led to instant negative thoughts about my own. I instantly said something to my running partner about the other woman’s body – I instantly objectified her. All of a sudden she was a body only, something to look at, something to envy. My running partner and I then got into a conversation about what we hate about our bodies, what we’d pay to have which parts changed, and on and on. I hate these conversations. I hate the thinking behind these conversations. I hate to admit that I was part of one of these conversations when I’m always the one saying DO NOT SAY THAT. These ideas obliterate the value of our unique bodies and the fact that diversity is beautiful. They are built on the idea that there is ONE perfect size, shape, way to look, and that we must strive to look like that – at all costs. Women (and men), we need to start believing the truth…that there is beauty in all shapes and sizes and differences. I think that we each have a unique shape that we must embrace…sure, there may be healthy and less healthy versions of our shape and maybe we should strive to be the healthiest version, but let’s make THAT our goal instead of wanting to look like everyone who fits THE mould. Ya, when I look in the mirror some days it gets to me that apparently my mould had little cellulite marks in it; it had parts that are “too big” and parts that are definitely “too small.” But you know, these are things that make me unique, and things that are definitely not worth losing any sleep over. Can we please stop trying to chase after the “ideal” and strive to be the best versions of who we are? I think if we paid attention to it, we’d find that a lot of our precious energy goes into the pursuit of looking like something we’ll never look like instead of loving and appreciating the bodies we have. What a waste of time! I realize it’s easier said than done – especially since most things are screaming LOOK LIKE THIS – but let’s try to embrace those curves we wish weren’t there and embrace the flat parts that we wish were more curvy!
Grammy August 26, 2008
If you’re ever at the dog park and you hear someone yelling “GRAMMY GET BACK HERE,” chances are they are not yelling at their grandma, but rather my dog Skye, a.k.a. Grammy. We frequently call her Grammy now because she’s old and definitely has her slow days. This nickname has been the cause of several raised eyebrows in the recent past. For example, we were at Rhonda’s brother’s house one night, with other people who we don’t know. Someone said, “Where’s Grammy?” and I said, “Oh, she barfed in the truck on the way over so we turned around and chucked her in the house.” At which point a person who we’d never met said – somewhat taken aback – “What did you do to your grandma?” ‘Twas pretty funny.
Shots August 25, 2008
Just a heads-up for any of you who are planning on doing some travelling…Greg and I have had to spend over $800 on vaccinations and meds in preparation for Africa, and that was the minimum we could get away with. Can you believe it? I never really thought about those kinds of things. Here’s something else I never really thought about – if you have had the chicken pox, it saves you $150 if you’re planning to travel. At first we thought Greg would have to get the vaccination for chicken pox because he’s never had them. He got his blood tested though, and apparently he has the antibodies…exposed to the virus but just never got sick. This is good because it saves us $150. It’s bad because now Greg has another superpower – “superimmunity” – to add to his vast bragging list of superpowers which all add up to making him “unbreakable.” Do you see what I have to live with people?
Relationships August 25, 2008
Lately I’ve been thinking a bit about people, and how I really don’t fully know the people in my life. It’s impossible. Heck, I don’t even fully know myself. I think it’s kind of mysterious…who are you really? We present a side of ourselves to others, but it is rare that we present ALL of ourselves to anyone. Even those in our lives who we are “supposed” to know intimately, such as our spouses, may not know us in our fullness. For example, most of us spend most of our lives away from our spouses. I have no idea what Greg’s work life looks like, who his clients are, much about what he does. Not that I need to know all of this stuff…It’s just weird to me sometimes that there’s so much that I am unfamiliar with. And then there are the people who I work with – spend every day of my life with, more time with them than with my spouse – who I really know absolutely nothing about, and when it comes down to it, don’t really care to know much about. I work with 5 older men who I have little to absolutely nothing in common with. <sigh> So here I sit in my own little world, in my own head, choosing to remain unknown by a bunch of old men 
Another strange thing about people in general is that we don’t know ourselves as fully unless we are in relationships…until we experience ourselves as we are with different people. I have definitely got to know different things about myself only as a result of relationships with different people. And different people bring out different things about me, things that remain hidden until awakened or drawn out by a friend, a family member, a coworker, a neighbor, a child, even an animal. I believe that I am who I am in large part due to my relationships. When I get to see a relatively hidden side of someone I consider it a great privilege…This is part of the beauty of counselling. You get to see glimpses of people’s lives that you would never ever get to see otherwise. And then there are the people who I pass by in the mall or on the street or at church who I know absolutely nothing about…they are nothing more than a body to me – complete mystery – yet they live in a complex web of relationships and have a rich, unique life with many layers. They are known by others (hopefully). We are relational beings…I’ve learned that that is part of the image of a relational God in us. I wonder how relationships will work in eternity. I’ve heard it said that we will have perfect relationships with people – that we will know and be known perfectly. How amazing. Anyway, all of those jumbled thoughts to say that I’ve been thinking about people and relationships lately. The end.
August 22, 2008
Here’s a link to the website for the 1/2 marathon that I’m doing on Sept. 7th: http://www.cause.ca//marathon/index.htm I had never even heard of this CAUSE organization before searching for a 1/2 to do in the late summer/fall. At the beginning of the summer this seemed like a good idea, like it would be fun. Now it seems like just another thing I have to do and has taken the backseat to a lot of things, mainly Kenya. Since getting ready for trips seems to stress me out (ya, I tend to get overwhelmed at the thought of packing…seems lame but true), the last thing that I SHOULD be doing is going to Canmore the weekend before Kenya. However, I committed to doing it and therefore I will do it. And I will try to force myself to have a good time and not complain about it too much…See, this is why I think I should never PLAN another thing for the rest of my life, and instead just go with the flow.
Confessions of a Fairweather Recycler August 22, 2008
I am a fairweather recycler. I admit it. I’m trying to change people, I’m trying. So yes, here I am writing letters to Danone about their non-recyclable containers one day, and the next day I chuck a plastic salad dressing bottle in the garbage because I’m too lazy to wash it out…just too much work to clean it up. So lame. For the last couple of months at work I’ve also been chucking little plastic things in the garbage here and there because it would take energy for me to gather them up and take them home to recycle. Again, so lame. Is it really that hard? No. And it’s not worth the guilt, I tell you. Every time I throw plastic away I picture it sitting there in the landfill for a billion years. So today I’m using the guilt to move me in the right direction…no more fairweather recycling for me people…or at the very least, not as much
More posts less thought August 22, 2008
I’m having an unusually slow time at work these days, which will mean more posts but less brain activity. When I’m having boring days at work I have more time to think, but my brain generally just turns to mush and I just sit and stare a lot. This is why a slow job kills me…the less I have to think, the less I think. The less I have to do, the less I do. So -WARNING- although I may blog more, content could be extremely uninteresting…not that it is ever that interesting
August 21, 2008
It’s weird to be sitting here having a relatively normal day while people we know are going through hell. It’s weird how one’s life can change in an instant. It’s weird how it takes tragedy striking those around me before I think about how frail life really is. Hmmmm.
Sad news August 20, 2008
Garrett died yesterday. They had to take him off of life support. Please pray for his family…I cannot imagine how hard this is for his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and all others closely connected to this family and little boy. Ugh. I think the funeral is on Saturday.
August 19, 2008
Yesterday one of Greg’s cousin’s kids was out hunting and was shot. Garrett is about 7 or 8. He’s on life support in Regina. We don’t really know the full story, so those are all the details I have. Please pray for Melanie and Gerry and their kids – Garrett and their other 2 as well.
