December 30, 2008

We’re back home.  Got back Sunday night to a partially shovelled driveway.  Our neighbor gets neighbor of the year award for doing that.  We both have 2 of the longest driveways in the world, and by the time you’re done shovelling one, shovelling another one seems like complete and total torture.  Working up the motivation is one thing.  Whether or not your spine can withstand it is another.  But our neighbor took one for the team and that made us very very happy.  Anyway, Christmas was fine.  Has everyone experienced enough family dysfunction to last them another year?   It wasn’t that bad…but it is always interesting how the family system acts.  Often I am taken back to how I used to act as I was growing up at home.  I also see other people taken back in the same way.  For example, Greg and I played a game of dominos (not mind-numbing at all…) with his dad, aunt, and uncle, and I’m telling you, I got a CLEAR picture of how things went in that family.  Hilarious.  They all acted out their “roles.”  Very interesting.  Also very frustrating when it comes to trying to figure out my own behavior in my own family.  The family is like a sticky web I tell you!  The best way to bust out of old behavior is to have someone from my “other life” with me when I’m with my parents.  Having a sister-in-law now that I hang out with in my “other life” has been great for these reasons.  I find myself acting a bit more like myself when I’m at home.

Acrees get to our place tonight and will be around for a few days so that will be great.  I still have to work tomorrow…boooo…but after that it’s gonna be visiting, hanging out, and probably a lot of Rock Band, which we got this Christmas.  This means that I will forever be pastey white because I’ll be in my basement playing Rock Band from here on in.  I’ll resurface when I get tendonitis, which may not take all that long.

That’s about all that’s goin’ on right now…Hope you all had a good Christmas, whatever that looks like for you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! December 24, 2008

Or should I say, happy holidays or seasons greetings instead…ya whatever.  I cannot believe it’s Christmas Eve people.  I’m telling you, my brain is just not computing this fact.  I still have a couple things to pick up.  We’re driving to Swift Current this afternoon.  My brain doesn’t understand.  We’ll be spending Christmas with the families again this year.  Brothers, sister-in-laws, and parents.  Still no kids in either family…I think it is time for that to change.  We’ve had enough years of adults sitting around staring at each other.  BRING ON THE KIDS!!  Someone?  Anyone?  I think that when that happens it will brighten Christmas up a whole bunch.  The saving grace this year might be Rock Band.  We don’t know that we’re getting it, but it was on the list so hopefully it shows up.  WOOO!  So have yourselves a merry little Christmas.  Eat lots of good food.  And try not to strangle any family members!

Life outside of school December 15, 2008

I guess I’ve been blogging a lot about school lately and not really about anything else.  So what else is going on in life?  Well, last week was Christmas party week.  We had Greg’s work party on Wednesday night, which consisted of a big steak at Carver’s and then playing Rockband at someone’s house.  I love that game…must…get…it…  Then on Friday night we had my work party – a big steak at John’s Prime Rib.  Mmmmm 2 big filets in 3 days…the insides of my arteries must surely be about 1/2 the size they were last Tuesday.  Perhaps the red wine helped to cancel out the effects of the steak?  Then on Saturday  night a party with some friends…lots more delicious food to be had – a Haitian meal to top it all off.  All very good things.  A week that an extrovert would have loved.  I wouldn’t trade those nights for nights at home, but for this introvert, they could’ve been spaced about a month apart instead of a day, and that would’ve suited me just fine!

Almost Christmas and there is no tree up in my house, not one Christmas CD has found it’s way out of hiding, and there is only one wrapped present under the pretend tree by the fireplace.  Ya, not sure what’s up with my non-Christmas spirit this year.  It’s like my brain is not computing that Christmas is next week.  OH WELL maybe I’m saving up for a great big celebration next year.

Last Lecture! December 15, 2008

Although this is a small step forward, I must celebrate the small steps.  I just listened to what may be my last lecture on tape/CD EVER.  YES.  I still have a crapload of work to do, don’t get me wrong, but I’m done listening to these dreadful lectures.  Thank goodness I only had to do 4 of my 20 classes by distance…DONE.  HOPEFULLY FOREVER.  Someone please stop me the next time I get the idea in my head that I should do something like a distance learning class.  You know it will happen again…you know, when the painfulness of this situation wears off and I get that kind of amnesia that women get after birthing a child and think, hey, I should take that class.  PLEASE tell me no.

High levels of frustration are being experienced December 9, 2008

…by me.  This school thing adds so much frustration to my life, it would seem.  Brace yourselves, you’re going to hear a LOT of c-o-m-p-l-a-i-n-i-n-g about this in the next few months to come.  Now that I’ve actually committed to MAYBE trying to graduate this year (yes, that’s as committed as I get with this)…again…I have to process this as it comes or I’ll melt down again.  Maybe I’ll melt down either way…if any of you would like to place bets on whether or not I graduate, please, feel free.  You have my permission.  I wanted to keep it a secret that I’ll MAYBE try to graduate again because of the pressure that comes when I actually say I’m going to do something and then don’t/can’t.  I’m not sure if this is just imagined pressure, pressure that I put on myself, or actually pressure that others put on me.  I think I imagine it.  I think other people are just trying to be supportive, but it ends up pushing me over the edge.  For example, I tell my parents that I’m CONSIDERING giving it another shot, and now every single time I talk to them until I graduate they will ask how school is going.  I need them not to ask.  I only want them to know that I’m working on this thing again so that they don’t expect a lot from me when they come up to visit, because even though it sounds like an excuse, I really just need to focus on this and parents at the house for a weekend in no way assists that.  That’s one of the things about school…it seems to make me more intense about things that drive me crazy – like getting to bed early enough so that I’ll have the brainpower the next day to work on school…like not making plans with friends so that I can work on school…blah blah.  It all feels like a big giant excuse to disengage from people…but that’s probably one of the things that ends up making me crazier than crazy by March.  ARG.  Bear with me as I try to give words to my experience

I have actually accomplished a little something tonight, and that would be a first draft of yet another paper.  I haven’t finished a paper in over a year, so this feels like a good thing.  Even though I know it’s total crap and I’m not thrilled with it, it is still, as Anne Lamott would call it, a “shitty first draft” and just having something down on paper gives me something to work with.  So tomorrow I will do some edits and throw that sucker in the mail, dusting my hands of it forever.

December 7, 2008

So how is everyone’s mental health these days?  I tell you, there seem to be so many people – including myself – who start to go downhill in November and continue going downhill until spring comes.  I have a relative in a drug rehab program who has also said that November on is THE worst time for all of the people in the program.  So what is that about?  Just plain ol’ winter?  The holiday season for sure has something to do with it for some people.  The last few years for me it’s been about staring at all of the deadlines I’d have to follow if I was going to graduate from my program in the spring.  Mark it down, this is the third year in a row that I’ve considered graduating.  I’m hoping my deteriorating mental health is related to this school thing and eventually goes away…I can’t remember what I used to be like when this was not an issue for me.  Realistically, it seems like November until spring might just be a downer.  Is it just this way in places that experience a long cold drawn out winter or what?  Like do people in Hawaii ever go through months of not functioning at the top of their game?  Winter sometimes seems to be a big obstacle…snowy and cold.  Maybe it’s just the lack of daylight that makes me crazy.  I seriously don’t get it, but I want it to go away.  I feel a smidge healthier than last year at this time though, so maybe I have a hope of coming out of the winter this year without too many battle wounds…If there’s anyone else out there who feels like they’re sliding a little closer to crazy than they want, just know that you’re not alone   We’ll get through it.

It’s me again December 3, 2008

Hi.  It’s me again.  Boring day…Just thought I’d mention that although we were originally told that today would be the deadline for life changing decisions, that deadline has been relaxed, and we can now crawl back into indecision…  Sometimes deadlines like that are annoying, but generally I tend to function best under pressure.  I love making decisions quick…I love big changes…I love any change.  Sometimes that gets me in trouble, but overall things tend to work out.  I can’t stand decisions that have to be thought out for ages.  I don’t like things staying the same forever.  Anyhoo, we’ve got more time.  I think in this case that’s ok.  I’ll try not to lose it as I wait through more time with no decision being made…for now I keep on hoping and dreaming I guess.

December 3, 2008

I know there are a million choices to make this Christmas about where to give money, but I thought I’d give you another one!  This is part of a newsletter that was sent out today by Mully Children’s Family – the first orphanage that we were at in Kenya.  They do great things for not only the children in their orphanages but also for the people in the community surrounding them.  Here is what they are doing this Christmas:

It is yet another time of the year that MCF would like to make a positive impact through sharing what we have and what we receive, with the families most in need in MCF project areas such as Ndalani, Yatta, Vipingo, Kangundo, Kitale and Eldoret. Our planned activities during this festive season include;
 
1. Providing a special hot meal made up of special chapatti bread, fried rice, beef and vegetable stew, soda, biscuits and sweets for over 1,000 children from the surrounding community
2. Providing a special hot meal to all the children within the IDP camp
3. Distribution of relief food to 7,000 families each of approximately 6 family members
4. Purchase of underwear for all 2,010 MCF beneficiaries
5. Distribution of relief food and sanitary towels to 1,000 internally displaced persons who have been relocated and especially those in the location where a church was burnt with over 40 people who died in it
6. Free medical care and medicine for the over 7,000 families that will receive relief food.
7. Special meals for our MCF beneficiaries both during Christmas and New year festivities.
 
Last year, through your very kind and generous giving, we served hundreds of children from the surrounding villages in Ndalani and Yatta with a very special hot meal. In addition, we were able to distribute raw food stuff and offer free medical care and medication to 7,620 people!!! Our target this year is to feed 8,000 families each of approximately 6 people with relief food stuff and medical care as well as medication as follows;
- 3 Kgs of Maize
- 2 Kgs of Beans
- 2 Kgs of Maize flour
- 2 Kgs of Rice
- 1 Kg Cooking fat
- 1/2 Kg Sugar
- 1/2 Kg Tea leaves
 
The cost of all these items per family of 6 people will be US$ 43. The raise in cost in comparison to last year has been caused by the global economic crisis as well as the post election violence which saw the inflation rate in Kenya go up to 35%.
 
Therefore, to feed;
1 family of 6 people each x US$ 43.00 = US$ 43.00
5 families of 6 people each x US$ 43.00 = US$ 215.00
10 families of 6 people each x US$ 43.00 = US$ 430.00
100 families of 6 people each x US$ 43.00 = US$ 4,300.00
 
The cost for the additional items, i.e.
- 2 Pkts Sanitary towels per person each costing US$ 3.60
- 4,020 pcs underwear for the 2,010 MCF beneficiaries each costing US$ 2.90

If you’d like to donate, go to http://www.mcfcf.ca and click on the bottom “donate now” button.  Easy.  These people seem to multiply any money that is given to them…it’s a great place to give!

Cool gift idea December 3, 2008

Ok, I just ran into this gift idea by fluke.  I put a donation through this website and this gift card thing showed up on the last page I was on.  You can buy a gift card for people to donate back to whatever charity they want to.  I think that’s a pretty cool idea.  Here’s the link: http://www.canadahelps.org/GiftCards/CharityGiftCard.aspx

Just stoppin’ by December 2, 2008

I’ve set aside this time – this time RIGHT NOW – to work on school.  So guess what I’m doing.  Everything BUT school.  I’m sure you’ve learned that I am a procrastinator like no other.  Forcing myself to sit and work on school is a great way to get a whole bunch of other things done that I don’t want to do – like clean the blinds, dust the plants – you know, stuff like that….I love learning but am finding it difficult to enjoy this class right now.  Just get ‘er done I guess…Ok ok back to work I go.