I’d rather lose my wallet February 28, 2009

Yesterday I had a freak out moment. I was at the gym, and I had left a bag in my car that contained a paper copy of my research paper with a shwack of edits done, and a memory stick with the paper saved on it. But I was sure to take my wallet out of the car so it didn’t get stolen. About half way into my workout I had a fleeting moment of panic, realizing that if anything happened to that research paper or the memory stick I’d be SCREWED. Can you imagine? I almost had to run out there in my shorts to save it from being stolen (it would be stolen by accident, of course, for who in their right mind would intentionally steal a paper?). Right now, I’d rather lose my wallet. You might be wondering who doesn’t save the paper in more than one place…well, I wondered that too, and as a result my paper is now saved on 3 different computers…I’d still be screwed if the copy with all of my edits was lost, but I wouldn’t be completely screwed. I’d still rather lose my wallet.

Roll-Up Status: 0 wins – 3 losses

Come on Tim Horton, have some compassion…throw me a frickin’ bone here.

February 26, 2009

Do you ever have those days where your senses are on hyper alert and everything seems SO loud or SO bright or SO cold?  I’m having one of those days today.  If I have to listen to someone using a packing tape gun one more time I may lose it.  The sound of the tape unrolling gives me goose bumps and today it is SO loud.  If I have to listen to someone doing their daily nail clipping one more time this week again, I may lose it.  (Well, I suppose I’ll have to listen to it tomorrow too…arg!)  So weird…feel kind of crazy when I have these ultra sensitive days.  No idea what the deal is.  Maybe it’s hormonal.  Or maybe I am really just crazy   If I was at a hockey game and someone behind me blew an air horn in my ear I would likely do something crazy enough to get on the news.

Roll-Up Status: 0 wins – 2 losses

February 24, 2009

Roll-Up Status: 0 wins – 1 loss

ROLL UP TIME! February 24, 2009

Just wanted to let you know that it’s ROLL UP THE RIM time at Tim Horton’s!!!!!  I heard it on the radio on my way to work and my car uncontrollably screeched into Tim Horton’s shortly thereafter.  From this day until it’s over, I will be spending an irresponsible amount of money on Tim Horton’s coffee.  One guy at work tells me that if I don’t buy coffee at coffeeshops I’ll save money.  No sh@*.  This isn’t about saving money people…it’s about ROLLING UP THE RIM!

February 23, 2009

You know how kids are experts at avoiding bedtime?  I have achieved expert status at avoiding my school stuff.  I think I am probably the best avoider out there, and I’d be happy to take anyone on in a challenge.  I’m also good at procrastinating, and I’d challenge you at that too…Too bad you can’t get anywhere in life by avoiding and procrastinating   Hey what’s that I see…some dust on my blinds?

February 20, 2009

Well friends, this has been a tricky week for me to navigate.  And the annoying thing is that I don’t really know why.  The last couple of years at this time I have definitely taken a turn for the worse, and generally this has resulted in me tanking out completely sometime in March with no light at the end of the tunnel until sometime in May.  I’ve been blaming school for it, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s not just end-of-winter stuff.  Who knows.  In trying to avoid the total crash again, the best thing I’ve come up with is to ignore all of the symptoms.  I’m not sure it’s good to ignore this but am having difficulty finding the balance between ignoring it and doing something productive about, because sometimes when I give it some attention I can end up dwelling on it so much that for sure it makes me lose it.  UGH!  So, why am I blabbing about this?  Well, sometimes it feels like talking about it gives it less power.  Like instead of sitting in a corner in my closet by night and trying to act like everything is normal and fabulous by day, I think I’d rather just be honest and not make it a secret.  And just in case there are other people out there ready to lose their minds, I know how helpful it is to know that you’re not the only one.  Not that I want other people to be having a crappy life at all, but when you’re having a crappy life it just seems like everyone else’s life is SO GOOD and they’re SO HAPPY (even though that’s generally not true) and it’s nice to know that you’re not alone in your misery   Anyhoo, I do not think that I’m  going to self-destruct this year.  I’ve had enough practice to navigate this a bit better this time around.  It just might take some work.  OH WELL.  I guess it is these times in life where you learn crap, and where I especially learn to be thankful during the times that are good.

PS – Even though I said it helps when other people are honest about their crappy lives, don’t feel like you can’t tell me how awesome your life is   I still have the ability to be happy for others even when my life is heading towards the tank.

Not a bad day so far February 17, 2009

So far today has been pretty good.  The weekend actually felt a bit long because I didn’t really SEE anyone besides Greg, and, well, as much as I love the guy, that gets old after a few days in a row   So, today it felt ok to get out of the house and come to work.  Plus, it’s kind of light out by the time I get to work now, which is sweet.  AND speaking of sweet, I had an orange this morning and I got the little bonus orange inside of the big orange.  I love the bonus orange.  No worms in my oranges today people!  Things are looking up.

February 16, 2009

This might seem cheesy, but I am a lover of quotes.  Short quotes, medium length quotes, whatever…I kind of eat that stuff up.  And particularly when my mind is feeling kind of blank or when I’m getting a bit lost in whatever it is that I’m lost in, I find that quotes can kind of bring me back to center somehow.  I, myself, don’t have much of anything to say today, and so I leave you with some wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Take it away, Ralph:

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life
has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

That makes me feel old! February 15, 2009

I just remembered that in my first and maybe even second year of university hand-written papers were acceptable.  Like handwritten on looseleaf.  That’s crazy!  Feels like the dark ages.  Can you imagine if a student handed in a handwritten paper these days?  I need to dig some of those old papers out…hopefully I kept some and didn’t burn them all in some crazy school’s-over-celebration!

February 15, 2009

Well, it is good news that Friday and Saturday are OVER.  Wanna know why?  Because Friday was Friday the 13th and although I am absolutely not superstitious at all, I have to admit that I was a bit freaked out because I was at home alone.  Greg was away for 4 days last week and just returned home yesterday, which put me in my house, alone, on Friday the 13th.  I did alright but there were a few moments of a quickened heart rate and a glance or 2 over the shoulder – especially when running up the stairs – what is with that?!  And it’s good news that Saturday is over because it was Valentine’s Day, and I can’t stand Valentine’s Day because of all of the pressure and expectations that go along with it.  I’m pretty much anti-anything that is there to force me to do something, and in my mind Valentine’s Day is one of those things.  And besides that, it creates depression and anxiety for probably 1/2 of the population.  So in keeping with never celebrating Valentine’s Day, Greg and I went out for supper and then hung out with a friend who just moved into his new house.  A pretty normal Saturday night.  And today I’m trying to focus on writing my research paper but there are too many people crowding my space, and there was a moment of internal meltdown mixed in there, and now I’m drinking chamomile tea and trying to talk myself down from it all.  Let’s just say that one of the people running around my house is a plumber and that is probably never good news.  Looks like there will be some more walls busted apart to find some stupid leak.  ARG.

Ok, I’m going to go drink some more chamomile tea and do some deep breathing or something.  Like I mentioned on Friday, life is overall frustrating right now and when that is the case, even little things are enough to set me off.  Will I ever learn to handle such minor things in a more appropriate way?  Logically it is all no big deal, but for some reason that’s not how I’m experiencing it.

Oh ya – by the way, if you LOVE Valentine’s Day and look forward to celebrating it every year, I promise I won’t judge you