custody. adoption. custody. adoption.
News flash: We have custody of the boys. I listened to a message from the lawyer this morning. In this weird case of ours, apparently we don’t have to go fully through with adopting, as having custody gives you all of the legal rights that adopting does. Or something. Normally when you adopt you don’t have “custody” of the kids first. Ah, “normally.” What a funny funny word. What an even funnier concept. Anyway, someone like me should never be forced to decide what to do in these situations. My brain goes to all KINDS of scenarios immediately. What it comes down to, I guess, is what is the best thing for the kids? A lot of people would probably say – there is no best thing in this case. But I say, will it make a difference to the kids somewhere later in life when they find out they are not actually “adopted” but rather, they are … “custodied”? What about when all of those people stop me in Superstore to ask if they are adopted… Welllllllll not really. But I promise that custody still makes me their mom? Wow…I really have never given these things a thought before. The legal mumbo jumbo is not my thing…
I don’t even think we ever D-E-C-I-D-E-D to adopt kids. This will sound really strange, and may bring judgment upon my head. But there you have it. About a month ago someone was interviewing me about our adoption and she was asking all kinds of questions about how we decided, and I had to honestly say – I don’t think we did. This was something that we kind of just started, expecting that it would take 3 years. And after the first year of our process there was no way that we could possibly believe that it would ever actually happen. And then there’s always that chance that you WILL get pregnant in which case that is where your attention is forced. So living in the – who knows what will happen – stage, which felt very very long, kind of meant that we could not be emotionally invested in either possibility. Because for the most part it did not SEEM like either would ever become reality.
And now here I sit. Thinking and thinking about custody adoption custody adoption. Arrrrrrrrg! Custody is cheaper so maybe the buck stops here 
