I am happy to announce that today was one of the best days that I have had in a long time. My stairs were left ungated. I read this morning until my legs hurt I had been sitting so long. When I got up from the couch, I left my book, my pen, AND my notebook on the couch. Just left ‘em there. There was also a half finished cup of coffee sitting on the coffee table. I proceeded to make my way to the bathroom, where the door had been open all morning instead of in lock down mode all day. I made a trip to Costco. On a SATURDAY. Just because I knew it would be total chaos and I did not care, I did not have to think about when 2 children would melt down and therefore rush through the store at top speed because I didn’t know how long I had. And I didn’t have to fend off crazy people wanting to touch my kids and ask me stupid questions. I was invisible. Aaaaaaah what a relief.
As you can clearly see, I was without my kids today. And it was so, so good. Wow, was it good. I can’t believe how my inner world was at work, full of ideas and possibilities and connections and memories. I felt alive people. This is all at the same time a relief, yet scary. Scary that I’m not missing my kids so much after a day away from them. Missing them??? ARE YOU KIDDING??? I think I can say that now that we have custody…
