I caved. My kids started part-time daycare this week. A few hours, 3 days this week. Will see how it goes. So far they are doing awesome. Happier. Less whiney. Sweet. It’s weird to me that in this culture paying someone else to look after your kids is something that we just do. Honestly, I couldn’t take it anymore. All day every day = me losing my mind. So, I’ve had 6 hours to myself this week, and I can feel a part of my brain growing back. YES. OF COURSE part of me feels guilty for giving in to the daycare thing. And the other part of me knows that it wasn’t an option anymore. Getting twin babies (ok twin baby BOYS) was clearly not a good idea for me! I don’t know if it’s like this for everyone with twin boys, but when they’re both around it’s insanity. If 1 of them is up from a nap earlier than the other, and I only have one to deal with it’s no problem. At all. When the other one joins the party it’s crazy. I’m positive that the effect is exponential. It’s not like just having 2 of the single children around. Because it is now noise and activity from 4 hands, not 2; 4 feet, not 2; 2 mouths, not 1. AND what really multiplies the craziness is whatever they are now doing because the other one is doing it. It’s brutal people. It kills me when I am forced into conversations when I go out with the boys and the person says – Oh I’d LOVE twins!!! Mmmmyeah…maybe you would love twins. For me, it’s been a nightmare. But hey – there are actually people who are made for this stuff!
Anyway, now that we have FINALLY found someone who will do daycare for us (after what feels like hundreds of phone calls and visits…probably more like 50) it is now time for me to really figure out what I’m going to do now. We can’t afford this daycare business so I have to find work quickly. And not only that – I don’t want to be at home all the time whether there are kids here or not (obviously preferable without kids). This deciding what to do thing is really hard. Sometimes it feels like an opportunity – ok, so now what do I want to do?! But most times it feels stressful. I’m stuck. So we’ll see where things go I guess…one day at a time.
