November 10, 2009

Ok, so I have been feeling like I need to get to know my enemy a bit better and therefore did some brief reading up on the coyote at Wikipedia. Every night when I take my dog for the final walk, I look to my left and see nothing but darkness, and tonight I thought I saw a pair of eyes but it turned out to be nothing but a yellow Sask Energy marker flag blowing in the breeze. I nearly had a stroke. So I just finished my small bit of reading, and here are some of the more important points…

The coyote’s dental formula as I 3/3, C 1/1, Pm 4/4, M usually 2/2, occasionally 3/3, 3/2, or 2/3 X 2 = 40, 42, or 44. Normal spacing between the upper canine teeth is 1⅛ to 1⅜ inches (29 to 35 mm) and 1 to 1¼ inches (25 to 32 mm) between the lower canine teeth.

This means nothing to me, but the fact that these things have a “dental formula” freaks me out.

During pursuit, a coyote may reach speeds up to 43 mph (69 km/h), and can jump a distance of over 4 meters (13⅛ feet).

Grammie and I have worked on our distance runs, but speed not so much. Wind sprints begin tomorrow.

Coyotes will sometimes mate with domestic dogs.

So Grammie should watch her back…I never considered that they might just want a piece of that…

Hearing a coyote is much more common than seeing one. The calls a coyote makes are high-pitched and variously described as howls, yips, yelps and barks.

I know this sound all too well. Good to know that hearing these things is more common than seeing them.

Coyotes shift their hunting techniques in accordance with their prey. When hunting small animals such as mice, they slowly stalk through the grass, and use their acute sense of smell to track down the prey. When the prey is located, the coyotes stiffen and pounce on the prey in a cat-like manner. Coyotes will commonly work in teams when hunting large ungulates such as deer. Coyotes may take turns in baiting and pursuing the deer to exhaustion, or they may drive it towards a hidden member of the pack. When attacking large prey, coyotes attack from the rear and the flanks of their prey. Occasionally they also grab the neck and head, pulling the animal down to the ground. Coyotes are persistent hunters, with successful attacks sometimes lasting as much as 21 hours; even unsuccessful ones can continue more than 8 hours before the coyotes give up. Depth of snow can affect the likelihood of a successful kill. Packs of coyotes can bring down prey as large as adult elk, which usually weigh over 250 kg (550 lbs).

Most important:

Coyote attacks on humans are uncommon and rarely cause serious injuries, due to the relatively small size of the coyote.

See that is what I thought.

Due to an absence of harassment by residents, urban coyotes lose their natural fear of humans, which is further worsened by people intentionally feeding coyotes. In such situations, some coyotes have begun to act aggressively toward humans, chasing joggers and bicyclists, confronting people walking their dogs, and stalking small children. Like wolves, non-rabid coyotes usually target small children, mostly under the age of 10, though some adults have been bitten.

Well isn’t it nice that they single out “people walking their dogs” as something that a coyote confronts.

There are only two recorded fatalities in North America from coyote attacks. In 1981 in Glendale, California, a coyote attacked toddler Kelly Keen, who was rescued by her father, but died in surgery due to blood loss and a broken neck.In October 2009, Taylor Mitchell, a 19-year-old folk singer on tour, died from injuries sustained in an attack by a pair of coyotes while hiking in the Skyline Trail of the Cape Breton Highlands National Park in Nova Scotia, Canada.

Ok, only 2 recorded fatalities doesn’t sound too bad…I wonder how many recorded attacks leading to injury but not death.

Coyote predation can usually be distinguished from dog or coydog predation by the fact that coyotes partially consume their victims.

Ooooooh is that how I can tell what killed me. It will only partially eat me. Note to self.

After reading what Wikipedia has to say, I still feel a bit vulnerable and like it might be a good idea to carry a weapon. I wonder what would be the best choice. Decisions decisions.

November 9, 2009

It’s a good thing I got home after work when I did. I drove up to the house and what do I find? Greg stuck on the roof. You see, it is much easier crawling up a ladder to get on the roof than it is to crawl down the ladder to get off of the roof. Much easier. I remember a time when Greg and I both got stuck on a roof for hours when we were painting the trim on a house. It’s fricking terrifying up there people. So he needed me to hold the ladder (which was in the back of the truck and propped against the house…I’d say that makes it even scarier to get down off the roof) so that he was sure it wouldn’t move. Oh, ok, so if it does move what the heck am I going to do about it? I can do 1 solid push-up. I could probably get some kind of prize in a weakest upper body contest. I’d get crushed…and then he’d collect life insurance. Waaaaait a minute. Hmm. It would appear to be the case that I have some further investigations to do. Anyway, this is all in the name of putting up Christmas lights. Yes, I realize that seems a bit festive for me, since I cannot stand the sight, sound, or thought of anything Christmas until December. The lights are still not up…Greg will be in intensive therapy tomorrow so that he can face his fears again and finish the job. This year, my fear of climbing down the ladder wins (last year it didn’t and what a disaster that was…). This year, I do believe that untangling boxes of lights will be my good-enough contribution.

November 4, 2009

Whew.  Another walk at night with Grammie has been survived.  No coyote attack.  I received confirmation today from a more reliable source that coyotes do indeed eat people.

It’s really weird living out here, not only because I need to think about wildlife, but also because literally every night when I walk down the street there’s either the shell of a new house that’s gone up since the previous night, or there’s something that’s been finished on an existing house.  Weird.  Weirdweirdweird.  It’s always changing.  And every time a basement is dug, the dirt is all over the sidewalk and street, and when it rains it’s muddy absolutely everywhere.  I long for the days of lawn, neighbors, driveways.  Less dirt.  Spring will be rough.  Oh well…maybe I’ll just heavily medicate myself in order to get through

I ended up having THREE coffees today and by 8:00 tonight I was still feeling pretty aggressive, even though the last coffee was consumed before noon.  I wonder how long that stuff stays in the body.  I’d say a good 7 or 8 hours.  So finally at 8 after feeling verrrrry aggressive I had to go to the gym and work some of it off.  But now I’m wired from being at the gym and therefore won’t sleep.  Ugh.  I know I know, you new moms are reading that and thinking suck it up…you don’t know tired.  I hear ya.  Why don’t you start a blog so we can all read about your difficult life right now ;;)

November 2, 2009

Musta been a full moon last night.  Very fitful very short sleep.  Probably not as short as my new-mom friends’ sleeps though.  Overall it was a bit of a weird week.  Washing machine exploded, literally.  It’s now at the washing machine cemetary and we need to buy a new one.  I saw my husband in Kim’s grad dress.  That’s always weird.  Found dog crap in his pocket.  That was weird too (and somewhat disappointing).  One thing I never hope to have to say again would be “Never under any circumstances put crap in your pocket, even for a second.”  What else was weird.  Dropped my brother off after work one day and an ambulance pulled up right after us.  Baby was choking.  She’s fine now.  Parents were here this weekend and there were plenty of weird interactions (maybe a better way to put it would be non-interactions).  Friends had babies, which is exciting and also weird!  Yep, weird week.  Hoping for some time alone soon so I can get my inner world straightened out.  It’s a bit chaotic in the mind right now and a chaotic inner world is never my happy place.  There are just piles of stuff everywhere in there, shoved to the side to sort out later.

October 27, 2009

I’ve slowly been reading the book What to Expect When You’re Adopting by Ian Palmer.  I came across the book as I was checking out some titles that I have thought about using for a book, and this was one of the possibilities.  When I saw that it already existed I was outraged, and then I bought the book to see what my competition would be like   (I’m kidding, I welcome every book written on the subject and appreciate the contribution that each of them makes.)  I’m only about 1/2 way through this book, and unfortunately have not really “connected” with the information provided.  For starters, it’s all based on adoption in England.  The process is quite different if you’re in Canada, and then in Saskatchewan, so the particulars of the process in England are of little interest to me.  I have also come across a few statements like this:

You have to be 100 percent certain that this is the right course of action for you, and those close to you.  Dig deep, search your head and heart before committing to adoption; the consequences of getting it wrong are potentially devastating to all involved.

No pressure!  And later:

There is no room for doubt.

SERIOUSLY?  And then:

Accepting infertility involves a process of grief and mourning.  Your adoption agency will want to know where you are in this process as it is important that you have grieved properly.

No offense intended, but this is almost laughable (when I get past the rage that it induces).  The idea that you know where you are at in your grief seems impossible, and even more absurd is the idea of “grieving properly.”  Give me a break!  Also false (in my mind) is the implication that grief will end, and that it should end before you move forward.  I strongly disagree with that.  I don’t think grief of any kind ever ends, but rather it changes.  It will always be there but in different forms, in different ways.  Whether the grief is related to infertility or death or whatever other kind of loss, the idea that you grieve and then get on with it is not something that I can accept.  Ah, if only it were true.

And the idea that there is no room for doubt immediately takes me out of the game.  NO room for doubt?  Do parents who are having a birth child not doubt what they are doing?  How can you possibly not have doubts when the process of adoption is such an uphill battle?  Seriously.  Maybe I’m just overreacting here but these ideas are not ones that I can get on board with.

Ideally before, but certainly during, the assessment it will be important to know that you are settled in your own mind and have accepted you will be unable to have children.  You will need to be comfortable with the changes this will have created in relation to your self-image – as well as issues relating to masculinity and femininity, potency and impotency – and be at peace with their social implications.

Again, I’m finding a lot of assumptions in this paragraph.  The assumption that the people reading the book know that they will not have children.  (If you’re dealing with unexplained fertility you cannot accept that you are unable to have children because you don’t know that.)  And again, the idea that people will accept this and be “comfortable” with it seems far-fetched.  And seriously, I have never before reading this paragraph even thought that I am less of a woman because of this, less feminine, but now I have something else to add to the pile.

That being said, I have also found truth in the book, and small nuggets of helpful information.  For example, the author talks briefly about the reasons people adopt, the reasons people have kids at all.  He discusses the cultural pressures to have children and that was interesting to me.  There are good reminders that people can live fulfilling and valuable lives if they never have children.  He talks about how intrusive the process of adoption is and the scrutiny involved, and how it so strongly goes against the value of privacy that we have in our culture.  So, I will take the good with me and leave the stuff behind that is not so helpful.

I feel like I need to finish with a disclaimer.  I understand that pregnancy and giving birth to a child are not at all easy.  I don’t really see it as either one of them being worse than the other.  It seems to come down to the fact that in general, getting kids is hard.  And I’m sure raising them is even more difficult than getting them!  (So why do people do this again?)  The major problems for me occur when people say things like “You’re so lucky you’re adopting, you don’t have to gain all this pregnancy weight” or “Be glad you don’t have to spend money on diapers for the first year of your child’s life.”  Things like that are problematic for me.  I sincerely recognize and appreciate the difficulties in all of these things, but no, I am not glad, and I do not feel lucky.

October 14, 2009

One of the good parts about unpacking is that you find some real gold that you forgot about.  This morning while on a frantic search for something else, I was reunited with one of the best reads EVER – Greg’s old journal.  From like Grade 4.  Ooohhhh yeeeah.  It looks like it was something one of his teachers was making them do, and unfortunately there are only a handful of entries, but they are gold.

Many of you have been blessed by this already, but just for old times’ sake here is the entry from November 4th:

Unicorns are fake.  I think girls get too carried away with horses and ponies and stuff.  No on has ever seen a unicorn before so why should people “adore” fantasies.

That is so sweet.  Kills me every time.

October 8, 2009

I’m alive people.  I’m alive.  The new job has been great.  I can’t say I really have an idea of what exactly I’ll be doing yet, aside from a few obvious things that I’ve been doing this week.  But I can say that I know that I’m going to like working there a lot.  I already am enjoying it about, oh, 2500 times more than where I came from, and I don’t even know what’s what and who’s who yet.  So this is a good thing.  Am feeling a little fried lately because I’m working at the new job and then I go to my other job in the evenings.  And then I try to do a couple of normal life things.  And then I try to sleep.  I can’t keep up right now.  There’s only so long I can do this pace.  So we’ll see…something’s gotta give.

The only major disappointment with the new job is that the life size portrait of Jordon that Jordon promised me he’d have on my office wall is not there yet.  Soooooo we’ll see.  If it’s not there by the end of my probation period I may just walk out.

October 4, 2009

This certain feeling has been lingering for about a month now…a certain loneliness or something.  Hard to find words for it.  Something more like displacement maybe…although when I think about the word displacement I immediately am reminded about the Internally Displaced Person camps in Kenya and what I’m going through does not even resemble the displacement of those people.  Hmmm what am I saying.  Nothing in my life feels familiar anymore.  Almost everything is new, or changing.  Right down to where I buy my groceries, which seems like a very teeny tiny little thing, but when put together with all of the changes it’s frustrating.  I’m assuming this feeling will eventually go away.  I’m tired of it.  I’m trying to ignore it.  But it’s not working.  And more and more things keep changing.  Even if they’re changing for the good (i.e. my new job starts tomorrow!) it’s still change and it still seems to be stressful.  The other day someone told me that I shouldn’t feel stressed about the new job because it’s a good change.  Ah, how validating.  grr.  Anyway, I’m desperately looking for something that is familiar right now and I’ve got nothin.  I guess this is where I’m supposed to rest in the arms of the unchanging God who loves me.  Yet I find that my ideas about God are ever-changing.  Yes, God remains the same, but I’m always at a different point in my discovery of God’s character.  But somehow I can rest in the hand of God, knowing that there is safety there that I don’t have to understand and can just trust. 

So tomorrow, I turn the page and start a new chapter with the new job.  It will be interesting to see where it all leads!

Could it be true? October 2, 2009

It’s my last day at current job people!  You know, the job that has been sucking the very life out of my veins.  My brain isn’t really computing it because I haven’t had 2 spare seconds to rub together for a few days now.  This training thing is intense.  I feel sorry already for the people who will be training ME on Monday, and also dreading being the trainee.  Learning a new job is hard.  I kind of like knowing current job inside and out, better than anyone in the world.  And now I’m going somewhere completely new <gulp> 

So, I wouldn’t say that I feel as excited as I want to feel, but I think that’s because I’ve been in overdrive this week.  Living on adrenaline and stress hormones.  If those go away right now I’m screwed.

Anyway, I thought I was going to die in this job.  But I’m not.  I’ll still be doing the bookkeeping which is the part I enjoy, so that ’s good…

Gotta go!

September 29, 2009

Brain fried.

I’m sick and it sucks.  I need extra ultra super power energy right now and instead I’ve got nothin.  Just a stupid cold but it’s kind of knocking me down.  Trying to train a new person at work, added to month end, added to year end.  I guess I could really only go on for so long at the current pace before I caught a bug.  hmpf.

If you feel sorry enough for me, you are welcome to come and fill in the empty spots in our fence.  I’d bring a beer out for you.  The posts are up so it will be pretty easy since that’s the hardest part…I look forward to seeing your progress.

3 more days at current job and then next week I start my new job.  Would love to have a week off in between to gather the pieces of myself that are spread out in random places, but it’s not in the cards this time.  That’s ok…I’m just freakishly happy about the change.